The robin makes eye contact with me. Our neighbor’s porch light illuminates half of her body, the other half is consumed by the night. It is 1 am. Dirty water bottles sit in the sink, and half-eaten airport snacks decorate the counter along with boarding passes we no longer need. I stare at the robin from inside, a closed window separating us. She watches me and cocks her head to the side as she balances delicately on the fence. It is odd to see her standing on the old wooden fence so late at night. Are you welcoming me home? Do we know each other? I know her. She has visited me before. A reminder she is still present. I look away first. Her gaze is more than I can bare. I’m working on it I try to tell her. She doesn’t believe me. I wrote her name in the sand along with yours! What good will that do? You think the universe will save her? You are such a child. I am tempted to open the window and spray her with the sink hose. I’m trying, I scream. Try harder she says. I look up and she is gone.

Cream Cheese Raspberry Banana Bread

Makes 2 loaves

The recipe was adapted from my grandmother’s cream cheese banana nut bread. A traditional banana bread recipe with the addition of cream cheese and raspberries which adds a nice tartness to this moist bread.

Ingredients:

¾ unsalted butter, at room temperature

1 8-ounce package of cream cheese, at room temperature

1 ¾ cups sugar

2 large eggs

3 cups unbleached all-purpose flour

½ teaspoon baking powder

½ teaspoon baking soda

½ teaspoon kosher salt

1 ½ cups mashed bananas

½ teaspoon vanilla extract

1 cup raspberries

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350F.  Grease and flour 2 8×4 inch loaf pans. Set aside.

Using a stand mixer with a paddle attachment or a handheld mixer beat together the butter and cream cheese on medium speed until creamy.  Slowly add the sugar. Beat the sugar, butter, and cream cheese until light fluffy.  Scrap the bottom and sides of the bowl once or twice to ensure the ingredients are well incorporated.  Next, add the eggs one at a time until combined.  Reduce the mixer speed to low and add the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Stop the mixer and fold in the bananas, vanilla, and raspberries. 

Divide the batter equally into the two prepared loaf pans.  Bake for 55-60 minutes or until a cake tester inserted in the middle comes out clean.  If the bread is browning too fast cover the top with aluminum foil to prevent further browning.  Cool the bread in pans on a wire rack for 10 minutes.  Remove bread from pans and allow it to cool on a wire rack for at least 30 minutes before serving. Enjoy! *Loaves can be frozen. Wrap loaves in plastic wrap followed by aluminum foil. Place in a Ziploc bag and freeze until ready to use.  Allow it to thaw at room temperature overnight before serving