Jerry’s Cheesecake aka “The Best One”

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The Colorado sun blinds Ann. The colossal Rocky Mountains frosted in bits of
snow stand in the distance. Such a tease to see them and not be able to touch
them. The land leaving the airport is brown and flat. Ugly. Ann finds this
unnerving. The flat land and muted colors are disorienting. So, unlike what she
knows, what she has always known. New England. A place she both loves and
hates, a place that holds her captive and tells her history. History and home.
Home and history. How easily they tangle together choking each other so neither
can thrive on its own. Ann notices how efficiently the train moves down the
track. It doesn’t sway or hesitate. The floor is pristine. There is not even a
hint of piss in the air. How odd. Ann adjusts the shoulder strap on
her bag and pulls out her phone. She places her hand on her suitcase handle as
if someone might take her bag. No one will. Her phone shows no messages, but Ann knows her
sister will be waiting for her.

The train comes to a stop and Ann walks off. She scans the parking lot
looking for Jane and spots her car. Jane steps out, smiles, and holds out her
arms. Ann wraps her arms around her sister’s shrunken waist and feels her
bones. How tiny she has made herself. The organs keeping her alive seem within
reach as such a thin layer of skin protects them from the outside world. Little
cracks form in Ann’s heart. She feels them growing. Ann will pretend
everything is fine. She will put on a brave face. Push through like she always
does and maybe if she is capable cry about her broken heart later. Ann doesn’t
cry much anymore these days. A helpful side effect of the Prozac she takes
daily without hesitation. Jane mentions she needs to make a stop on the
way to her house. “I have a pile of clothes to donate. The boys just keep
growing!” She seems light, which is comforting to Ann. The windows are down,
and the sunroof is open, the fresh air feels good but leaves little goose bumps
on Jane’s arm. Just as they pull into the donation center a nearby sprinkler
has gone rogue and is shooting water 15 feet into the sky. The water comes
raining down through the sunroof. Jane laughs as she drives through. Ann is
relieved to see her sister unburdened. That smile of hers so consoling. And
yet she knows this will not last for Jane and Ann feels the cracks in heart
grow.

Jerry’s Cheesecake

This is my grandmother’s cheesecake recipe which she lovingly called
“the best one”. ” It is so creamy and moist. The tanginess of the
cream cheese and cottage cheese is balanced with the addition of a slightly
sweet graham cracker crust. I like to serve this fresh strawberry sauce just as
she did.

Serves 10

Graham cracker crust recipe from
Sally’s Baking Addiction

Ingredients for cheesecake:

2 (8oz) packages of cream cheese, softened

1lb (16 oz) full-fat cottage cheese, at room temperature

1 ½ cups sugar

4 large eggs, at room temperature

3 tablespoons of cornstarch

3 tablespoons flour

4 teaspoons lemon juice

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

½ cup (8oz) butter, melted

2 cups full-fat sour cream, at room temperature

Ingredients for graham cracker crust:

1 ½ cups graham cracker crumbs or about 12 full graham crack sheets

¼ granulated sugar

6 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted.

Directions:

Using a food processor, pulse the graham cracker sheets until they are
crumbs. Add the sugar and pulse a few more times.  Next, add the melted
butter and pulse until evenly combined.  Remove the graham cracker mixture
from the food processor and press evenly onto the bottom and sides of a spring
form pan.  Set it aside.

Preheat your oven to 325F.  Using a stand mixer with a paddle
attachment beat the cream cheese and cottage cheese on high until creamy and
well combined.  Gradually add the sugar.  Next, add the eggs and beat
until well combined.

Reduce the speed to low and add the cornstarch, flour, lemon juice, and
vanilla.  Next, add the melted butter and sour cream.  Beat until
just smooth.  Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake for 80
minutes or until the edges of the cheesecake are set and look golden
brown.  Turn off the oven and leave cheesecake in the oven for 2
hours.  Remove the cheesecake and allow it to cool in the pan.  Cover
the cheesecake with a cake lid and refrigerate for at least 4 hours or
overnight.  Serve as it or, with fresh
strawberry sauce.  Leftovers will last for up to 5 days but should be
kept refrigerated in an airtight container.  Enjoy!

Raspberry Cream Cheese Banana Bread

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The robin makes eye contact with me. Our neighbor’s porch light illuminates half of her body, the other half is consumed by the night. It is 1 am. Dirty water bottles sit in the sink, and half-eaten airport snacks decorate the counter along with boarding passes we no longer need. I stare at the robin from inside, a closed window separating us. She watches me and cocks her head to the side as she balances delicately on the fence. It is odd to see her standing on the old wooden fence so late at night. Are you welcoming me home? Do we know each other? I know her. She has visited me before. A reminder she is still present. I look away first. Her gaze is more than I can bare. I’m working on it I try to tell her. She doesn’t believe me. I wrote her name in the sand along with yours! What good will that do? You think the universe will save her? You are such a child. I am tempted to open the window and spray her with the sink hose. I’m trying, I scream. Try harder she says. I look up and she is gone.

Cream Cheese Raspberry Banana Bread

Makes 2 loaves

The recipe was adapted from my grandmother’s cream cheese banana nut bread. A traditional banana bread recipe with the addition of cream cheese and raspberries which adds a nice tartness to this moist bread.

Ingredients:

¾ unsalted butter, at room temperature

1 8-ounce package of cream cheese, at room temperature

1 ¾ cups sugar

2 large eggs

3 cups unbleached all-purpose flour

½ teaspoon baking powder

½ teaspoon baking soda

½ teaspoon kosher salt

1 ½ cups mashed bananas

½ teaspoon vanilla extract

1 cup raspberries

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350F.  Grease and flour 2 8×4 inch loaf pans. Set aside.

Using a stand mixer with a paddle attachment or a handheld mixer beat together the butter and cream cheese on medium speed until creamy.  Slowly add the sugar. Beat the sugar, butter, and cream cheese until light fluffy.  Scrap the bottom and sides of the bowl once or twice to ensure the ingredients are well incorporated.  Next, add the eggs one at a time until combined.  Reduce the mixer speed to low and add the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Stop the mixer and fold in the bananas, vanilla, and raspberries. 

Divide the batter equally into the two prepared loaf pans.  Bake for 55-60 minutes or until a cake tester inserted in the middle comes out clean.  If the bread is browning too fast cover the top with aluminum foil to prevent further browning.  Cool the bread in pans on a wire rack for 10 minutes.  Remove bread from pans and allow it to cool on a wire rack for at least 30 minutes before serving. Enjoy! *Loaves can be frozen. Wrap loaves in plastic wrap followed by aluminum foil. Place in a Ziploc bag and freeze until ready to use.  Allow it to thaw at room temperature overnight before serving